arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she used to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(via willowlovesjesus)

24.Sep.14 6 days ago

vivianvivisection:

jonesdavid813:

h0llo:

Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience I watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror I love it

no, if you are putting on makeup, I don’t care who you are or what you look like, you go from about a 10 to 1

keep talking shit you gonna go from a basic ass 2 to a 6-feet-under

(via makencheese)

24.Sep.14 6 days ago

shingeki-no-mass-effect:

dajo42:

realistically the space under my bed is very small so if a monster did in fact live there it would have to also be very small

it would be some kind of baby monster

i would have to look after it

The true horror: responsibility

(via healhealinghealed)

24.Sep.14 6 days ago
24.Sep.14 6 days ago
  • Classmate: How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?
  • Me: How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if no one likes you?
24.Sep.14 6 days ago

ewmartin:

crazy-jensenackles-fangirl:

so apparently people talk to their pets in baby voices, but when i see my cat i’m just like ‘hey brad’ and he’s like ‘meow’ and the conversation is over.

I don’t know why but for some reason the fact that your cat’s name is brad is hilarious to me

(via healhealinghealed)

24.Sep.14 6 days ago

caseyanthonyofficial:

drunktrophywife:

caseyanthonyofficial:

drunktrophywife:

Is it illegal to have sex in a dressing room

I’ve gotten in trouble for jerking it in one so

But is it
illegal

I jerked off in a dressing room do I sound like a lawyer

(Source: drunktrophywife, via makencheese)

24.Sep.14 6 days ago

every romantic teen movie

maurypovichofficial:

*girl plays acoustic guitar and sings*

guy: wow…you’re..you’re amazing you can really sing

girl: :) thanks. i haven’t sang since my mom died

(via makencheese)

24.Sep.14 6 days ago
24.Sep.14 6 days ago